...humaharurot na ang jeep ni juan!

i find it hard to write anything in a place that drains you of your artistic blood.....

i better find my sanctuary before i lose everything and die into oblivion.

looks like my crazy family
is down one crazy daughter cuz
i'm shipwrecked in a desert that
once was underwater just
looking for a swift turn of phase
some colors to fly
in the parade

plus i dream in skin scented sentences
of a stronger faster, fiercer you
and to each verb, noun and predicate
i dedicate a vivid hue
but you ain't done too well
getting your permanent pastel
have you now?
yes, the desert seemed so promising
and then it paled somehow

so school is in session
get your chin off your desk
now pick up your pencil
and turn over your test
use your education
and take an educated guess
about me

i've got a slot at eye level like
a speakeasy door
and i know you know the password
cuz i've seen you here before
and i've got something sweet for you
and i don't care if it is more than you deserve
i've got a lot of love and a lot of nerve
so watch me while i take this curve

yes school is in session
get your chin off your desk
now pick up your pencil
and turn over your test
use your education
and take an educated guess
about me

plus i have this whole new family
and i'm in love with each of them
and i'm on this list called lucky
whenever i'm in reach of them
and i'm learning how to say
that i'd be happy either way
with your love

im calling on the stars above

im spending time, staring at a blank wall, blank ceiling, anything blank.... trying to discern how to love a job that is demeaning my very core as a person.......... and to top it off, i could never be good enough in the eyes of the very people i care about.

its confusing, i know.

there nothing else to do.... but roll with the punches.

i cant go back now...... i cant.........


....... or can i?

horniness.

is it a disease? or a superpower something?... how i wish it is the latter....... i feel horny all the time its scares me!!! hehehe..... not now of course, im tired from being horny.... *chuckles*

whatamisaying? pasensya na!!! not myself lately...

read this text from a friends journal who copied it from a site..... thanks gareb!

Karl Marx's Economic Theories

For Karl Marx, the basic determining factor of human history is economics. According to him, humans - even from their earliest beginnings - are not motivated by grand ideas but instead by material concerns, like the need to eat and survive. This is the basic premise of a materialist view of history. At the beginning, people worked together in unity and it wasn't so bad.

But eventually, humans developed agriculture and the concept of private property. These two facts created a division of labor and a separation of classes based upon power and wealth. This, in turn, created the social conflict which drives society.

All of this is made worse by capitalism which only increases the disparity between the wealthy classes and the labor classes. Confrontation between them is unavoidable because those classes are driven by historical forces beyond anyone's control. Capitalism also creates one new misery: exploitation of surplus value.

For Marx, an ideal economic system would involve exchanges of equal value for equal value, where value is determined simply by the amount of work put into whatever is being produced. Capitalism interrupts this ideal by introducing a profit motive - a desire to produce an uneven exchange of lesser value for greater value. Profit is ultimately derived from the surplus value produced by workers in factories.

A laborer might produce enough value to feed his family in two hours of work, but he keeps at the job for a full day - in Marx's time, that might be 12 or 14 hours. Those extra hours represent the surplus value produced by the worker. The owner of the factory did nothing to earn this, but exploits it nevertheless and keeps the difference as profit.

In this context, Communism thus has two goals: First it is supposed to explain these realities to people unaware of them; second it is supposed to call people in the labor classes to prepare for the confrontation and revolution. This emphasis on action rather than mere philosophical musings is a crucial point in Marx's program. As he wrote in his famous Theses on Feuerbach : "The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point, however, is to change it."



Society
Economics, then, are what constitute the base of all of human life and history - generating division of labor, class struggle, and all the social institutions which are supposed to maintain the status quo. Those social institutions are a superstructure built upon the base of economics, totally dependent upon material and economic realities but nothing else. All of the institutions which are prominent in our daily lives - marriage, church, government, arts, etc. - can only be truly understood when examined in relation to economic forces.

Marx had a special word for all of the work that goes into developing those institutions: ideology. The people working in those systems - developing art, theology, philosophy, etc. - imagine that their ideas come from a desire to achieve truth or beauty, but that is not ultimately true.

In reality, they are expressions of class interest and class conflict. They are reflections of an underlying need to maintain the status quo and preserve current economic realities. This isn't surprising - those in power have always wished to justify and maintain that power.

www.about.com

i stand firm on my beliefs....

... yet i feel alone standing on it.
how can something so right seem so wrong to others....
how can pursuing a life for others be so selfish?
is the lack of fear selfish?
is the extreme comapssion and empathy for others worthless?

then why am i alone?

-----CUT!---- hehe

just watched "the good earth" awhile ago. nice movie (though i still think reading the book would be better) reminds me of people i sought to understand and be... in some aspects.

how i wish, i can bury my toes in the earth again.

ive seen the video... at first it seemed subtle as i listened to a terrorist mumble words i dont understand......

BUT then...

this man took out a knife and pushed the american nick berg into the floor and started cutting his neck............... i was about to throw up... FUCK!!!! im still having goosebump all over...

the perpetrators should pay.......

Apolitical Intellectuals

One day
the apolitical
intellectuals
of my country
will be interrogated

by the simplest
of our people.

They will be asked
what they did
when their nation died out
slowly,
like a sweet fire
small and alone.

No one will ask them
about their dress,
their long siestas
after lunch,
no one will want to know
about their sterile combats
with "the idea
of the nothing"
no one will care about
their higher financial learning.

They won't be questioned
on Greek mythology,
or regarding their self-disgust
when someone within them
begins to die
the coward's death.

They'll be asked nothing
about their absurd
justifications,
born in the shadow
of the total life.

On that day
the simple men will come.
Those who had no place
in the books and poems
of the apolitical intellectuals,

but daily delivered
their bread and milk,
their tortillas and eggs,
those who drove their cars,
who cared for their dogs and gardens
and worked for them,
and they'll ask:

"What did you do when the poor
suffered, when tenderness
and life
burned out of them?"

Apolitical intellectuals
of my sweet country,
you will not be able to answer.


A vulture of silence
will eat your gut.


Your own misery
will pick at your soul.


And you will be mute in your shame.

--Otto Rene Castillo

Buwan at baril


1.
Buwan, buwan, hulugan mo ako ng sundang
Sa panahon ito ng kaguluhan
Ilang daang taon na rin ang nabibilang
Iginapos ang masa sa kahirapan

2.
O bituin, bituin sa kalangitan
Himagsik ng karet, inyong tulungan
Lahat halos ng butil sa tanim niya'y dumadaan
Ngunit siya'y sa gutom ngayon pinapatay

Koro 1
Ang maghimagsik ay makatarungan
Ito'y tungkuling sadyang nakalaan
Sa mga bisig na nagngangalit, pumipiglas
Sa bawat sikmurang dinadahas

3.
Buwan, buwan, hulugan mo ako ng sundang
Sa panahon ito ng kaguluhan
Mula't sapol nang isilang at magkamalay
Iginapos ang masa sa kaalipinan

4.
O araw, araw sa kataasan
Himagsik ng maso'y iyong tulungan
Lahat halos ng yaman ay kanyang pinaluluwal
Ngunit siya'y pulubi, alipin sa --

Koro 2
Ang magrebolusyon ay makatarungan
Ito'y tungkuling sadyang nakalaan
Sa mga kamaong nagngangalit, pumipiglas
Sa bawat ninanakaw na lakas

Uuu (sa tono ng 1)

Juan, Juan, hulugan mo ako ng sundang
Sa panahon ito ng kaguluhan
Na gagawing sandata sa lalahukang himagsikan
Upang mapuksa, ugat ng kahirapan
Na gagawing sandata sa lalahukang himagsikan
Upang mapuksa, ugat ng kahirapan

i sure would love to be water spewed from a sprinkler... or better yet raindrops.... that way, i would be everywhere in one downpour....

dance on streets... rooftops... on leaves, branches of trees perched high....... resting as morning dew.

and most importantly..... lifeless, emotionLESS, yet essential to life's unending cycle...............

or better yet... a teardrop... from the eyes of my love....... that way i wont seem so far anymore.

self evident by ani difranco yes, us people are just poems we're 90% metaphor with a leanness of meaning approaching hyper-distillation and once upon a time we were moonshine rushing down the throat of a giraffe yes, rushing down the long hallway despite what the p.a. announcement says yes, rushing down the long stairs with the whiskey of eternity fermented and distilled to eighteen minutes burning down our throats down the hall down the stairs in a building so tall that it will always be there yes, it's part of a pair there on the bow of noah's ark the most prestigious couple just kickin back parked against a perfectly blue sky on a morning beatific in its indian summer breeze on the day that america fell to its knees after strutting around for a century without saying thank you or please and the shock was subsonic and the smoke was deafening between the setup and the punch line cuz we were all on time for work that day we all boarded that plane for to fly and then while the fires were raging we all climbed up on the windowsill and then we all held hands and jumped into the sky and every borough looked up when it heard the first blast and then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed and the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar looked more like war than anything i've seen so far so far so far so fierce and ingenious a poetic specter so far gone that every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on and i'll tell you what, while we're at it you can keep the pentagon keep the propaganda keep each and every tv that's been trying to convince me to participate in some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution perpetuate retribution even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution is still hanging in the air and there's ash on our shoes and there's ash in our hair and there's a fine silt on every mantle from hell's kitchen to brooklyn and the streets are full of stories sudden twists and near misses and soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters with tales of narrowly averted disasters and the whiskey is flowin like never before as all over the country folks just shake their headsand pour so here's a toast to all the folks who live in palestine afghanistan iraq el salvador here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation under the stone cold gaze of mt. rushmore here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors who daily provide women with a choice who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city just to listen to a young woman's voice here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now awaiting the executioner's guillotine who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads to find peace in the form of a dream cuz take away our playstations and we are a third world nation under the thumb of some blue blood royal son who stole the oval office and that phony election i mean it don't take a weatherman to look around and see the weather jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks and boy did he ever and we hold these truths to be self evident: #1 george w. bush is not president #2 america is not a true democracy #3 the media is not fooling me cuz i am a poem heeding hyper-distillation i've got no room for a lie so verbose i'm looking out over my whole human family and i'm raising my glass in a toast here's to our last drink of fossil fuels let us vow to get off of this sauce shoo away the swarms of commuter planes and find that train ticket we lost cuz once upon a time the line followed the river and peeked into all the backyards and the laundry was waving the graffiti was teasing us from brick walls and bridges we were rolling over ridges through valleys under stars i dream of touring like duke ellington in my own railroad car i dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches in a grand station aglow with grace and then standing out on the platformand feeling the air on my face give back the night its distant whistle give the darkness back its soul give the big oil companies the finger finally and relearn how to rock-n-roll yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets and clear the air get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand of someone else's desert put it back in its pants and quit the hypocritical chants of freedom forever cuz when one lone phone rang in two thousand and one at ten after nine on nine one one which is the number we all called when that lone phone rang right off the wall right off our desk and down the long hall down the long stairs in a building so tall that the whole world turned just to watch it fall and while we're at it remember the first time around? the bomb? the ryder truck? the parking garage? the princess that didn't even feel the pea? remember joking around in our apartment on avenue D? can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design following a fantastical reversal of the new york skyline?! it was a joke, of course it was a joke at the time and that was just a few years ago so let the record show that the FBI was all over that case that the plot was obvious and in everybody's face and scoping that scene religiously the CIA or is it KGB? committing countless crimes against humanity with this kind of eventuality as its excuse for abuse after expensive abuse and it didn't have a clue look, another window to see through way up here on the 104th floor look another key another door 10% literal 90% metaphor 3000 some poems disguised as peopleon an almost too perfect day should be more than pawns in some asshole's passion play so now it's your job and it's my job to make it that way to make sure they didn't die in vain sshhhhhh.... baby listen hear the train

My ritual ablutions
Make no sense
For water cleansing my body
Cannot wash away
Brutality
Greed
Lust

Still
I am as dirty as before