...humaharurot na ang jeep ni juan!

(whats up with me and food in my titles? )

the house filled with patriotic songs from speeches of republican politicians, resonating from the television. the second round of politicians' convention happened to be held at the madison square gardens.

i never did liked the republicans, but i didnt like the democrats either. they are all spokes in the unending wheel of mass manipulation, warmongering, and profiteering. leaving us, the manipulated, war-torn and poor, crushed under its heavy wieght.

it was funny listening to different senators and other high-ranking officials rant on about how righteous they were, going into war with iraq and all other states that have obselete military capabilities. they talk about democracy, and liberation, how america should be considered the world's liberators. i dont know if anyone noticed it, but doesnt that sound just a wee bit arrogant, and assuming? if liberation means bombing whole cities regardless of who were in it, or exploiting poor nations' reosources, then i am a pig and i can fly.

politicians claim, people loved them for the policies and step they have taken, since bush took office. well, it was ironic becuase just outside, hundreds of demonstrators were epxressing all their pent-up feeling at the politicians, and it sure wasnt a feeling of affection.

watching the whole circus, i cant help but conclude, that ITS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. i just wonder for how long.

KUNDIMAN
by Eman Lacaba

Ang sabi mo pula ang paborito mo.
Ang sabi ko puti ang paborito ko.
Kagabi nang tayong dalawa'y nagkita,
nakapula ako at nakaputi ka.


(You told me you like red.
I told you I like white.
Last night when we met,
I wore red while you wore white.)

galing kay ~soulfly sa Brown Rimbaud entry niya. tsalamat kasama

roses are red, violets are blue.
sugar is sweet at nalalasing ako sa pagmamahal mow!

the city with its light both grim and exciting
overshadows a man, longing for itself
longing for freedom
caged not by walls
but by choices not wanted but loathed and feared
how could he have ended up in this situation
knowing he had seen more and could do more?

a neon sign dominated the empty sidewalk
threaded by his heavy heart
a watering hole of some sort,
a grand edifice, beckoning to hide his chagrins
with one shot of rum, maybe two

he opened the door
suddenly
a sultry voice rushed into his whole body and pulled him inside
the thick fog of smoke spewed from dragons too problem stricken
to spew fire
his whole being suddenly felt light
as he floats into what he thought was surreal.
he desired to see the voice, know the voice
the voice that sings his longing for existence



(to be continued...)

have you heard of that song midnight train to georgia? a special someone introduced that song to me not so long ago and it stuck to me ever since. i dont know the song so i bought the cd yesterday, and i have been playing the song for the umpteenth time, hell im still playing it right now.

it got me riminiscing about the FART choices ive chosen. one, being, leaving on a my own midnight train to a different georgia. i left someone who deeply, greatly loves me.

"LA proved too much for the man, he couldnt make it, so he is leaving a life hed come to know, he said he is going back to find what's left of the world, the world he left behind not so long ago."

i guess love proved too much for me, that i thought i couldnt make it so i got scared and ran away. instead of cherishing whats left of my world, i threw it all away... and now everything seems so far away. and ive given someone who sings to me each night "id rather live in his world than live without him in mine" so much hurt. im sorry for that, im really sorry. you do mean so much to me.

ironic. for a man who has been looking for intimate and lasting relationships all his life, would run away whenever he finds it.

What color are you? (Anime Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla


gusto ko pula!!!!

its silly but sure kill time.

I am 50% evil.




I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.


Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

america is my open waters. i feel like a diver lost in the middle of the ocean.. adrift with no choice, no power over my own fate, no control over the currents that is taking me to god knows where. and sharks are constantly circling in on me... and im left, just staring at them crying out of hopelessness... waiting for them to gnaw at my legs or arms or chest or.... head.

its ironic, i mean, ever since i was small, i love the whole idea, or perhaps the institution that is AMERICA. and now my fascination about it all is meaningless and pathetic. i have no one to share that with. no one. and even more depressing since life seems to be pointless. that is subjective of course.

*sighs*

i went online tonight to add a 'rather depressing entry'. opened my tabulas and checked if my friends had new entires too. and lo and behold, on pulahan's page. my 'rather depressing entry' with a few different details. i am not saying somebody is a plagiariser (if there is such a word). its just comforting to know that somebody feels the same pains as you do, and you are not going through it alone.

been working non stop at my monotonous job right now. its like a ferris wheel ride. only it does not stop and it turns so fast that you bear constant urges to vomit. yes, im paid. paid over the minimum wage. my co-workers are treating me nice... i just dont see the point of working, earning money to pay rent, buy new clothes, go to buffets, cds... it all feels so hollow and lonely. i long for the days when i used to go walking through the streets of cebu city hungry, with nothing but a yosi on one hand, and pen on the other. or work for nothing, spending weeks in desolate places helping people. i may not be a peso (or dollar) richer but i go home to bed at night, consoled by the experiences and souls of people i met and somehow changed. and i close my eyes and dream.

i definitely have to go to new york NOW NA!

Go by Indigo Girls


Through the dustbowl
Through the debt
Grandma was a suffragette
Blacklisted for her publication
Blacklisted for my generation
Go go go

Raise your hands
Raise your hands high
Don't take a seat
Don't stand aside
This time don't assume anything
Just go go go

Feed the fire
Fan the flame
I know you kids can stand the rain
I know the kids are still upsetters
'Cause rock is cool but the struggle is better
Go go go

Raise your hands
Raise your hands high
Don't take a seat
Don't stand aside
This time don't assume anything
Just go go go

Did they tell you it was set in stone
That you'd end up alone
Use your years to psyche you out
You're too old to care
You're too young to count

Did they tell you, you would come undone
When you try to touch the sun
Undermine the underground
You're too old to care
You're too young to count

Go go go

im at a fork road. leading to other fork roads.... and i have no idea which road to take. im standing still and time is running out.

"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where 51 percent of the people may take away the rights of the other 49." Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" Benjamin Franklin so democracy is simply government by majority rule, direct voting or by the election of representatives. But democracy does not equal freedom, and freedom does not depend upon democracy. In fact democracy is oftentimes the enemy of freedom. clarke duffe gets ko na! gets mo na?

someone once told me that americans, when buying a house tend to look for big kitchens in houses. it is ironic that after owning the house of their dreams with luxurious (in Filipino Standard) kitchen, or in some cases, kitchen"s", hardly uses it. not only that, they tend to accumulate cooking "stuff" like pots and pans and plates which wont even fit in the dishwashing machine. i mean whats the use of buying when you dont use it. might as well convert your kitchen into a mini-room and rent it really cheap to a poor hobo like moi or patimbang ang pots and pans. at least you get extra cash right?

at work today, it was like a chapter from the bible... hungry locusts swooned over Mickeydees today. and boohoo for me, i was in the middle of it. fix the drinks, put the orders and the bag, and ooh.... smile always. to add harm to injury, talks of the corporate pawns being sent to do its random inspection spread through the small uneventful store. so we had to be extra careful with everything we do. we have to have a parallel ratio of napkins to items, or ketchup to the grams of fries or our smile has to be semitrical to the whatever, in short they want us to look like ronald mcdonald. a greedy corporate ass. reminds of PAASCU's fiascos.

good thing the corporate pawns didnt show up, and it was too busy, i had to work three more extra hours, which means overtime pay for me wohoo..... kailangan ko pa naman ang pera badly. i am quitting my job and look for another. i am never good, dealing with people (hungry or not) and money. id rather deal with people and people alone no money or burgers or fries.
*********************************

Watched Meet Joe Black today. i have seen the movie a dozen of times, pero i dont know why, watchingit now, seemed like watching it for the first time. i guess, i just missed movies (80's to present movies) after watching westerns all the time. it got me thinking....

-Unsa kaha akong buhaton kung magkita mi ni Joe Black?
-kinus-a pa kaha ko ma dato ug makapatukod ug indoor swimming pool parehoni Bill Parsih sa Movie?
-gwapa kaayo si claire?

these are my thoughts too earlier (before the movie while i was working, serving cranky customers)
-unsa kaha kung naay lahi nga supreme dinhi sa kalibutan? puti? itum? pula? yellow? brown? or fuscia? kung adunay usa nga "supreme" race, then mobarug ug mo-away pud ba kaha ang mga "inferior" races?
-para ni sa akong relihiyosong ego, what if unper gyud ang ginoo?
what if?