Entries for December, 2004

December 2nd, 2004

Mr. Moto

i am an old tree standing lonesome on some stranger's lawn... my leaves withering, its very life withdrawing into the deepest corners of my past.

i stand alone cursed by the season to shiver and moan, my whole being retreating into itself without any consolation for its very core, its very soul is wintery as the season.

spring ceases to exist...

* * * * * *

watched arsenic and old lace again.... there is definitely something about peter lorre...

Posted by lefthandedrebel at 12:25 AM | 9 kukumachichi

December 4th, 2004

bukangliwayway

lights a cigarette
sips coffee
tastes
bold colombian
playful cinnamon nut flavor
gazes on the horizon
yonder
breaks through the trees
golden rays of the sun
seeps into me
a lowly being

December 7th, 2004

tula galing kay ate len

hacienda luisita 2

Matapos paslangin ang mga manggagawang bukid sa Hacienda Luisita
Nanawagan si Cory sa lahat na manalangin para sa kapayapaan

Matapos paslangin ang mga manggagawang bukid sa Hacienda Luisita
Akusasyon ni Noynoy, NPA ang dapat na sisihin

Matapos paslangin ang mga manggagawang bukid sa Hacienda Luisita
kung hindi raw lumabag sa batas ang mga biktima, naiwasan sana ang trahedya

Matapos paslangin ang mga manggagawang bukid sa Hacienda Luisita
Hindi pa rin magbibitiw sa pwesto si Patricia Sto. Tomas,
hindi naman daw siya ang kumalabit ng gatilyo

Matapos paslangin ang mga manggagawang bukid sa Hacienda Luisita
Magiting pa ring nakatindig ang piketlayn

Matapos paslangin ang mga manggagawang bukid sa Hacienda Luisita
Hindi igagawad ng sinumang diyos ang kapayapaan, Gng. Cory
Walang batas na mas mataas sa tunay na katarungan, Kris
At, oo, Noynoy, sumumpa ang NPA na parurusahan ang mga salarin.

from http://www.lenolea.motime.com/

December 9th, 2004

grandmaw got mauled by santa's reindeer

the sound of the leafblower was music to my ears in the cold early morning in good ol' oklahoma. i was getting desperate, the song "grandmaw got run/ mauled by santa's reindeer" kept playing in my head. dont ask- LSS. the guy who wrote that should be sent to mars or something. i guess i have been listening too much to the all-christmas-song-til-christmas radio station. i mean, how many times do you need to listen to "here comes santa claus, here comes santa claus, here in santa claus lane" before you break down and weep in utter agony? --- the fifth did it for me yet the music still wont stop. somebody kill me. hehe.

* * * *

an onslaught of attack on the american civil liberties union ACLU echoed through my humble suburban abode. hannity and combs was on, an obnoxious-supposedly fair and balanced show in the fox news network (ha! nothing is ever balanced with that network. it is self evident that it a conservative republican network!).

it was frustrating to watch some americans, self proclaimed conservative, conservative republicans - consider themselves on the higher ground with nothing but their own distorted concept of morality. wake up people! it was a frenzy of labelling the non-conservative leftist, unamerican, unpatriotic and liberals. i was frustrated but i also pitied them.

it is not news to me that organizations like ACLU who fights for the bill of rights and people's civil liberties and rights- are considered leftist and liberal. it is actually reassuring, that people like me is doing the right thing by being such. if fighting for people rights is an agenda in the far left in the political spectrum--- then id say it again... IM A LEFTIST. IM LIBERAL.

i just wished americans did not hang on to the chauvinistic, arrogant, shitty, demented views of people like bill o' reilly and sean hannity. i know the american public is smarter than that.

* * * * *

on the lighter note, watched the movie TEAM AMERICA: the world's police- the other day.... and the movie was fun and ultimately pointless, senseless and absurd. FUN- watching dummies act was hilarious, the facial or dummacial? expressions and the sex scene.. was just priceless. haha! ABSURD- the number of times "fuck", "cock" was mentioned was just alarming and did i mention the plot was just plain discriminatory and totally subjective- no truth in them whatsoever- a plot only people like o' reilly or hannity would buy.

i loved kim jong il's character though, not that it was truthful or anything, it was just that he was THE character. i wont mind seeing that dummy in another movie... the big glasses, the cute nose, the constantly frowning face and of course the "im so lonely song
."


December 11th, 2004

family politics

i have lost the will to fight for anything...

have turned my whole being into a corporate whore--- smiling while being used, being harrassed, being belittled.

i am a corporate whore--- whose family is so damn proud of his being such.

a corporate whore--- whose principle he had shed, out of pessisimism and hopelessness

corporate whore--- whose dreams he threw away for a life as mediocre as a walmart parking lot

whore--- which nobody wants anymore.

* * * * *
Currently listening to: no woman, no cry - bob marley
Posted by lefthandedrebel at 11:36 PM | 11 kukumachichi

between you and me

I'm a bit like the peephole
That falls in love with all the eyes
That look through
Watching major things unfold
From minor flaws
For some other cause
Have Mercy
song by smog

December 14th, 2004

between cramming for an exam and honors project

the man who cannot say no--- is at it again.

at the beginning of the semester i pledged to do an honors project for my american government class... actually i planned to do two--- the other for my psychology. honors project is a fancy title for a 10-12 page research paper related to the subject you wish to do a paper on.

fear/ paranoia after 9/11 was supposed to be my paper for psych but my professor said that the topic would be best suited for my political science class... so i decided to combine the topic with my paper for political science - the effects of the patriotic act on american civil liberties and rights.

it should be easy right? i mean---- haller-- ATB (Anti-terrorism Bill ng Pinas and my being a tibak) but noooo!

as i have written in my first entry sa tab---- its hard to do anything in an environment that drains you of your artistic blood.

the paper is due on the 16th of december and i havent even started one word for my introduction. kalata! and on top of that--- i have two exams on thursday. and i am supposed to study real hard for it--my future is at stake (if i still have any). apparently nursing school here sifts through students like sifting lumps of sugar---- only the finest and the tiniest would pass through ---(according to their standards of course which is highly questionable - you guys know what i mean).

* * *

i am not a very religious person, well i used to be.

while watching TBN (trinity Broadcasting Network), a televangelical network.... my eyes went sore from too much rolling in its sockets. c'mon people... who would buy the idea that christians are all angelic and unflawed. who'd buy the idea that all non-christians are destined to go to hell... (and goes the same to other religions claiming that those not part of their religion is bound to eternal damnation-- if thats the case, knowing that people dont have two religions at one time then we all are going to hell!!!!).

i am a christian you see... i lost belief in religion's bureacracy but i still do have faith in its essence-- that men, as rational being, should be logical, fair, compassionate and understanding. let us stop being hypocrites--- you cant claim to be morally right when you are for bombing hundreds of civilians in distant nations, or vote for a president whose agenda is control over the persian gulf region's oil, or voting against a legislation that gives the same previliges that heterosexual couples enjoy to same-sex couples. that just aint right. do you think the world would be a better place if iraq loses more of its sons and daughters (or america for that matter), do you think its right for a person to die, due to her inability to pay his/her medical bills because he/she cannot use his/her spouse's medical insurance BECAUSE of the stupid legislation unrecognizing same-sex marraige?

just think for minute... think real hard and sincere.

its NOT an issue about being conservative or liberal, or being a christian or not-- its an issue about being human-- being a person.

note: i am not all moral either--- i admit i am a hypocrite too.... but i am constantly trying to change for other's and my sake.





Posted by lefthandedrebel at 09:13 AM | 27 kukumachichi

December 16th, 2004

Mortality before and after the 2003 invasion of Iraq

Mortality before and after the 2003 invasion of Iraq: Cluster sample surveyby Les Roberts, Riyadh Lafta, Richard Garfield, Jamal Khudhairi, Gilbert Burnham
Lancet, 29 October 2004

Editor's note

We bring to the attention of our readers this authoritative study of Les Roberts et al of the John Hopkins School of Public Health on the deaths of Iraqi civilians, published by The Lancet (Online Medical Journal based in the UK).

The study confirms that:

"Violent deaths were widespread, reported in 15 of 33 clusters, and were mainly attributed to coalition forces. Most individuals reportedly killed by coalition forces were women and children."

"Making conservative assumptions, we think that about 100,000 excess deaths, or more have happened since the 2003 invasion of Iraq,"

--------------------------------------------

Background

In March, 2003, military forces, mainly from the USA and the UK, invaded Iraq. We did a survey to compare mortality during the period of 14·6 months before the invasion with the 17·8 months after it.

Methods A cluster sample survey was undertaken throughout Iraq during September, 2004. 33 clusters of 30 households each were interviewed about household composition, births, and deaths since January, 2002. In those households reporting deaths, the date, cause, and circumstances of violent deaths were recorded. We assessed the relative risk of death associated with the 2003 invasion and occupation by comparing mortality in the 17·8 months after the invasion with the 14·6-month period preceding it.

Findings The risk of death was estimated to be 2·5-fold (95% CI 1·6-4·2) higher after the invasion when compared with the preinvasion period. Two-thirds of all violent deaths were reported in one cluster in the city of Falluja. If we exclude the Falluja data, the risk of death is 1·5-fold (1·1-2·3) higher after the invasion. We estimate that 98000 more deaths than expected (8000-194000) happened after the invasion outside of Falluja and far more if the outlier Falluja cluster is included. The major causes of death before the invasion were myocardial infarction, cerebrovascular accidents, and other chronic disorders whereas after the invasion violence was the primary cause of death.

Violent deaths were widespread, reported in 15 of 33 clusters, and were mainly attributed to coalition forces. Most individuals reportedly killed by coalition forces were women and children. The risk of death from violence in the period after the invasion was 58 times higher (95% CI 8·1-419) than in the period before the war.

Interpretation Making conservative assumptions, we think that about 100000 excess deaths, or more have happened since the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Violence accounted for most of the excess deaths and air strikes from coalition forces accounted for most violent deaths. We have shown that collection of public-health information is possible even during periods of extreme violence. Our results need further verification and should lead to changes to reduce non-combatant deaths from air strikes.

Read complete report at
http://image.thelancet.com/extras/04art10342web.pdf

December 19th, 2004

red envelope

there sleeping on mark's bed-- a red envelope with his name on it.

he opened it slowly and a sudden smell of a local department store rushed out from the paper pouch and reach his olfactory sense. it was the bitter smell of commercialization and "impersonal"ization.

it was a holdiay card with cliched design plastered all over it. and inside it says "merry christmas from papa and mama."

he just got from work but felt like working just opening the small red envelope and reading its contents.

for mark- christmas has boiled down to being a name in somebody's mailing list-- even his own mom's.

he placed the card in an unnamed box and changed clothes, went straight to bed and slept thinking-- he brought it to himself.

* * *
Posted by lefthandedrebel at 12:48 AM | 6 kukumachichi

December 20th, 2004

Fiona A. and the magical lumpia wrapper

whats the point of making eggrolls if you dont have the wrappers? and why cant we drive like just two blocks to get some wrappers so i can make my eggrolls?

* * *
realizations:
i have nothing profound to say except my silence.

* * *
Currently listening to: shadowboxer- Fiona APple
Currently reading: bible
Currently feeling: naguguluhan
Posted by lefthandedrebel at 02:17 AM | 6 kukumachichi